Danny Dwyer here again, time to open your ears for another piece of festival information that’s more precious than a fist sized lump of gold made out of diamonds. This time we’re talking clubs. Sonus isn’t like your normal festival where you’re stuck out in a muddy field. It’s a lot more sophisticated than that, it’s held in three delicious clubs, which are all right on the beach, and a number of top notch boat parties. Not too shabby!
My personal favourite club was Aquarius, it’s well luxurious, kind of what I’d imagine James Bond’s house would look like, if James Bond was into banging tunes. My first time there I managed to blag my way into the super-lush VIP section, it’s proper nice in there. I went there on the first night and I was still pretty tired from Odyssey-esque epic journey. I decided to hang out in one of the little pool house cabanas and listen to some nice chilled beats. It was so relaxing I accidentally nodded off. I’m a bit of a sleep walker, especially when I’m drunk, which I was, and apparently I stood up on the table, stripped myself bollock naked and went for a little night amble. Usually my sleep walking ends up with me pissing in a wardrobe but luckily my path was blocked by a massive swimming pool, which I fell into. It was a bit of a rude awakening but definitely not as embarrassing as getting thrown out for relieving myself in the cloak room. Still though, Aquarius is awesome, definitely go there just not when you’re really tired.
After giving Aquarius I wide birth I went to see what was happening in Kalypso. It’s another absolutely banging club. This place’s speciality is cocktails, they’re nearly a little too nice. After having about fifteen strawberry daiquiris in just under two hours I thought I might be best off drinking some water. Unfortunately I wasn’t really thinking straight and I decided that the best way to do that was by diving into the swimming pool and drinking as much as I could. I must have swallowed about two litres of pool water before my friend finally managed to pull me out. I had to be taken to hospital to have my stomach pumped, they said that much chlorine could have killed me. As soon as they let me out I headed straight back to Kalypso to wash the taste of chlorine out of my mouth with some lovely Black Russians. Definitely check Kalypso out, just make sure you stick to the drinks they’ve got on the drink menu.
On the third day I was knackered, it was probably all the chlorine so I stayed in bed but on the fourth day I was well rested and buzzing to get myself into Papaya. This place is totally amazing, it’s got a huge stage that was apparently originally built as some sort of giant satellite dish that’s capable of sending live streams of the festival into space so the lads on the International Space Station can have something to listen to. After about ten too many Stellas I decide I wanted to go check it out, naturally I blagged my way backstage and started to climb up the lighting rig. About half way up I noticed a really hot bird in the crowd, I was so busy looking at her that I forgot where I was and let go of the bars. Luckily for me Ricardo Villalobos was playing, he’s notoriously strong and has the reflexes of Bengal Tiger so he just plucked me straight out of the air and threw me back into the crowd like a cake at a Steve Aoki show. I landed right beside the hot bird, I tried talking to her but she just ignored me, typical. Papaya is totally banging all of the time so definitely go, just try and stay in the designated crowd areas.
Every year I try finish up the festival with a boat party but I was a bit skint so I had to think fast. This is where twelve years spent in scouts could have come in handy, unfortunately I always thought the scouts was for muppets and I spent twelve years pretending to go. I made myself a little raft and set sail to intercept one of the boat parties, the perfect crime? Wrong, my raft didn’t last five minutes, I ended up drifting in the Adriatic Sea for about four hours clinging onto an empty six litre water bottle. Eventually I was picked up by a fishing trawler bound for Venice. They let me stay on as long as I helped the crew. It was a total disaster. Still though, best weekend of my life.
Read part one of our Sonus Travel Guides here.
