An English adrenaline junkie has moved onto smack after discovering that heroin is up to twenty times cheaper than base-jumping.
Stuart Grayson, a thirty year old investment banker, claims he made the decision to move over to smack after a chance meeting with an old school friend in a London park last weekend.
“I’ve been into adrenaline sports for about ten years now,” explained Grayson earlier today. “It started off with a bit of windsurfing but quickly moved onto rock climbing, bungee jumping, parachuting and now my favourite; base-jumping, which I’m totally addicted too.”
“I bumped into a girl, who was in the year below me in school, in London last weekend and I was telling her about a base-jump I done in Norway a couple of months ago,” continued Grayson. “She was really impressed, even if she didn’t seem very enthusiastic, but when I told her how much it cost she nearly had kittens.”
“She told me that she had a much cheaper alternative to base-jumping,” revealed Grayson. “She said that I could get the same buzz for just £20. Obviously I didn’t believe her but she convinced me to go back to her apartment, a total shit hole, and try it out. We got this bag of brown stuff they call ‘smack’, it’s not much to look at but by gosh has it got some kick.”
“I’ll be honest with you, it’s even better than base-jumping. The rush is unreal, you don’t have to go to foreign country to do it, which will really help with the Brexit, and it’s only a fraction of the price, I’m really surprised it hasn’t caught on more. I reckon the lads down the polo club will really love it,” claimed Stuart. “The only problem is it’s very moreish, I haven’t been able to stop taking it since.”
According to reports, Mr Grayson is currently in the process of moving into his friend’s “shit hole apartment”, which will free up some funds to spend on his new found habit.
