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“Afghanistan Was A Walk In The Park” Claims Ex Soldier After New Year’s Eve In Manchester

An ex soldier in the British Army has claimed that Afghanistan was a “walk in the park” after spending New Year’s Eve in Manchester city center.

Peter Gleeson, who completed two tours of Afghanistan with The Royal Regiment of Fusiliers, claimed that nothing could have prepared him for the carnage he seen on the streets of Manchester.

“I’ve never seen anything like it in my life,” explained a shook Mr. Gleeson. “I’ve done two tours in the Helmand Province but that place doesn’t have a patch on Manchester on New Year’s Eve. It was total mayhem. I’m lucky to have gotten out alive, and even luckier to have managed to grab a kebab on my way home. I’m only really getting over the whole experience now.”

“I’ve literally seen people being blown apart limb for limb,” he gruesomely revealed. “But that’s nothing compared to seeing people strewn all over Market Street or blokes pissing up against the wall of the Arndale Center. There’s nothing that can emotionally prepare you for that kind of thing.”

“It’s the parents at home that I really feel sorry for,” he continued compassionately. “I mean it’s probably not quite as bad as having your son or daughter blown up somewhere in the Middle East for no apparent reason other than the price of oil but imagine having to ring somebody’s mum, first thing on New Year’s Day, and tell her that so and so is in a really bad condition, with a horrible hangover, after having a blinding night on New Year’s Eve.”

“It just doesn’t bear thinking about.”

According to experts, one in three people who went out in Manchester city center on New Year’s Eve needed to be treated for post traumatic stress the following day, in most cases a takeaway and some lighthearted television was sufficient treatment. Although, in some more severe cases Lucozade was required.

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