Dutch EDM cringe merchant Afrojack has vowed to donate his entire fee from this year’s Awakening’s festival to charity, despite not being included in the festival’s line up.
Many industry insiders believe that the DJs vows are an arbitrary attempt to look good in the public’s eyes and are writing the apparent good natured gesture off as a crude PR stunt.
“Afrojack isn’t exactly known for his random acts of kindness,” claimed PR expert Rick Reilly. “He’s been caught actually stealing candy from babies on a number of occasions and he taught Paris Hilton how to press play on a CDJ so he clearly has no respect for humanity.”
“It’s all just a big attempt to look good in the lead up to the DJ Mag Top 100 DJs campaign if you ask me,” continued Mr. Reilly, “and it seems to have backfired on him big time. He wanted to come out of this smelling like roses but as it turns out he’s going to come out of it smelling like shit, even more so than usual.”
However, according to sources close to Afrojack, real name Nick van de Wall, the DJ’s promise was nothing more than a generous gesture made to help him get his name onto a credible line up in his home country.
“Nick is sick of playing at EDM events,” claimed close friend Hans Schipper. “He hasn’t always been an EDM cheeshound, a long time ago before he sold his soul for a dollar he listened to and played some half decent music and I think he’s just trying to recapture a little piece of that.”
“Nick thought that if he promised to give his fee to charity he could pull at the heartstrings of Awakenings Festival organisers and they’d offer him a slot,” continued Mr. Schipper. “It kind of worked too, they won’t let him DJ because they said his music was ‘far too shit’ for Awakenings but they have offered him a role in the port-a-loo clean up team. Amsterdam Dog’s Trust are in for a €100 windfall.”
