“Alf Stewart From Home And Away’s Been Banging Our Mum” Claim Nervo

Australian EDM duo Nervo have announced that they are to take a temporary break from music and return to their homeland to star in the popular soap opera Home and Away.

Sisters Miriam and Olivia Nervo, originally from Melbourne but now based between London and L.A., are no strangers to the small screen having previously starred in the American soap One Life To Live and the reality show Styled To Rock.

“We’re totally stoked to be on Home and Away, it’s a proper fucking institution in Australia mate,” explained Olivia during a recent catch up with Wunderground. “It’s like Coronation Street to the Pommies or Porn to the Germans, every cunt and his mum watches it. So it’s kind of a big deal for a couple of sheilas from Melbourne like us.”

“We’re also really looking forward to getting away from the EDM industry for a couple of months,” added Miriam. “We’ve had some bonzer fun over the last couple of years but at this stage we’re just sick of Yanks. Crikey those cunts are annoying! Their accents do my nut in and there’s just no good looking blokes over there, most of them have faces like a kicked-in shit can,” she joked while looking at her sister before clearing her throat and spitting.

“Basically we’re going to come into the show as Alf Stewart’s long lost twin daughters,” continued Olivia while scratching her crotch. “That means the dirty old bugger’s been fucking our mum. Strewth! Can you imagine that wrinkly old fogey getting up on you?” she asked her sister. “I think I just vomed in my mouth.”

“Stone the flaming crows Olivia, I’m never going to get that image out of my head now you fucking bogan!” answered Miriam. “We don’t really know much else about our characters but hopefully we’ll get to bury the bishop with a couple of those hunks down the Surf Club, I hear they bang like a dunny door in a force nine gale.”

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Nervo’s appearance in Home and Away will see the sisters follow in the footsteps of a number of other DJs who have taken to the small screen, including Idris Elba, best known for his portrayal of Russell “Stringer” Bell in The Wire, and Steve Aoki who has been acting as a music producer, DJ and person for the last ten years.

You’ll be able to see the girls in the show early next year.