There was turbulent news in the dance music scene today as, in light of the constant coverage that Paris Hilton’s attempts at becoming a DJ have elicited, every single blog, website, magazine or TV show about electronic dance music are set to collectively change their names to “What Did Paris Hilton Do Now?”
It’s a move that’s sure to change the very fabric of how people consume news about dance music, but some experts believe that “the move is unsurprising” and could have been predicted due to “the increasing amount of focus that dance music publications are giving to the socialite cum DJ”.
“Over the last year or so, since Paris began being paid to stand behind decks,” offered dance music commentator and owner of the now defunkt DJ Paris Hilton anti-fanzine, Paris Stilton, Laurence Carragher. “Every single dance music publication has fallen over backwards to include a story about Paris’s foray into DJing either by expressing consternation and disapproval or to be vaguely conciliatory apologists.”
“It got to the point in some magazines where every second or third article was about Paris Hilton, and not dance music,” continued Laurence. “The scene can no longer be defined in terms outside of Paris Hilton. The scene now basically is Paris Hilton or responses to Paris Hilton. All things are relative to Paris Hilton so she’s now become the centre of the Venn Diagram that binds dance music together.”
“So,” he continued, “renaming every single publication to “What Did Paris Hilton Do Now?” is just a natural response to how much that her being a DJ and what that represents has penetrated the industry. Even if you don’t like her, I think you’ll agree that dance music reporting is now Paris Hilton and the name change is necessary.”
Laurence claimed that this name change wouldn’t have happened if websites didn’t “keep giving her relevance” by using her “attempts at DJing as self serving click-bait” even though some websites were genuinely against her being paid ridiculous amounts on the basis of “little apparent skill” there were still others who seemed to support the idea, as well, says Laurence, as others that have offered an at times unforgiving and satirical look at Paris’s marauding into the world of dance music, like the one you’re reading right now. Yes, you.
Other titles which were toyed with include “Nothing But Paris”, “Who Does She Think She Is?” and “Everything You Know And Love About Dance Music Is Being Destroyed And An Easy Scapegoat For The Rot Can Be Found In The Figure Of Paris Hilton”, but were discarded for being either “too vague”, “too confrontational or “too long and unwieldy but accurate”.
The change, which Paris is yet to comment on but when she does you can surely read them everywhere, is expected to happen sometime in the summer.
