A U.S. chemist has this week become world famous after creating the world’s first Supersized ecstasy tablet – which reportedly is the size of wheel and contains enough MDMA to get a small town out of their minds.
The tablet, pressed using the same machine they use to crush rocks and containing an estimated 25 kilos of MDMA, was created accidentally by Dr. Walter White of the University of San Diego when trying to create a more efficient way to ship large quantities of pharmaceutical products.
“I was in the lab, thinking of how I can invent something that’ll make billions for my industry while marginally rewarding me for coming up with the actual idea when I realised that I’d be better off either patenting ideas independently of my company or university,” claimed Walter.
“It was either that or manufacture and sell drugs. So I settled on doing both.”
Walter achieved notoriety after he started selling the giant ecstasy through various online drug marketplaces for $100k dollars each to interested parties which ranged from people planning massive parties, DJ’s looking for a status symbol, Boris Johnson and crime gangs.
“You just chip off lumps of it,” claimed one anonymous purchaser, “it’s literally the size of a wedding cake but packed with as much MDMA as smaller pills so cutting small, pill sized lumps off it will be enough to get a person high.”
“I bought two last week,” claimed fan of the new pills, Happy Monday’s, frontman Bez, “I’ve half of one left!”
Walter, who is operating under a false name, is now, with his young partner, being pursued by drug enforcement agencies from several countries but says he plans to keep manufacturing the popular ecstasy claiming he’s not going to be around long.
