New Study Links Bestiality To Using Traktor
A recent study has claimed that an increased rate in the occurrence of people fucking animals is directly linked to the use of digital mixing suite, Traktor. A criminal survey carried out
Ibiza Veteran Who Claims It’s Not What It Used To Be “Just Can’t Handle His Ket”
A self proclaimed Ibiza veteran who constantly maintains that the island “isn’t what it used to be” is only holding that opinion because he can’t handle his ketamine, it has emerged. 27
Most Common Deathbed Regret Is Not Having Gone To DC10
Never going to famed Ibizan club DC10 has today been confirmed as the most common regret expressed by people in their final moments of life. The club, famous for its Bacchanalian atmosphere,
Man Accidentally Tears Off Fingernails Trying To Untie Really Well Tied Bag Of Cocaine
A British man has accidentally torn off his own fingernails while trying to open a really, really well tied bag of coke. 30-year-old Tim Williams, a City of London worker from Kent,
Man Wins Court Battle After Blaming Ecstasy Addiction On Pac-Man
A Los Angeles native has successfully managed to sue the makers of popular video game Pac-Man after claiming that the arcade classic caused him to become addicted to pills and techno. 37-year-old
Men Only Change Bedsheets “When Sex Is On The Cards” Confirms Study
A study released today has confirmed that men are feckless, lazy sods who only aspire to the most rudimentary level on cleanliness “when sex is on the cards”. Most men, the survey
Armin Van Buuren’s Arm’s “Stuck Like That”
Trance superstar Armin Van Buuren is constantly adopting a Jesus pose not through any sense of ego but because his arms are actually stuck like that, doctors have claimed. Spending the vast
EDM Claims Another Young Life As Promising Student Decides To Become DJ Instead
Dance music has been thrown in front of the court of public opinion again today after it emerged that another young person has lost their life to the genre after electing to
Swedish House Mafia To Do Comeback Tour…Once Money Gets Tight
Everybody’s favourite EDM supergroup/hatefigures, Swedish House Mafia, have today said that they are absolutely open to performing a comeback tour once they start running low on money. The group, comprised of underground
Fans Who Gatecrashed Wireless Festival Run Other Way After Realising David Guetta Was On Lineup
The horde of fans who gatecrashed London’s Wireless Festival on Friday night are reportedly running the other way now that they’ve realised that EDM pop-gimp David Guetta is on the schedule. Videos