Corporate music duo, Axwell ^ Ingrosso, have reportedly been spending so much time together that their periods have become synchronized.
The phenomenon, known to affect women who spend extended lengths of time in each other’s company, has been observed by many scientific studies but this marks the first time that it has happened between two men.
Sources close to the duo, who recently admitted that they only value dance music as a purely professional endeavour for them to make money, have blamed a bout of the monthlies on their recent dismissal of underground music as amateur.
“Unfortunately, due to Axwell and Seb spending so much time counting money together and standing in DJ booths putting their fists together, they’re internal body clocks can become synced,” explained a source close to the duo. “Usually when that happens they get grumpy at the same time and are a nightmare to deal with, they’ll lie around in bed with their curlers in eating Ben & Jerry’s and moaning about other DJs.”
“They’ve been known to get quite snappy and bitchy, which was what happened in that recent interview where they called all underground DJs amateurs,” he continued. “They never would have said that if they weren’t on the rag. I mean, they do obviously still think that, but they only let it slip cause Menstro was paying them a visit.”
The twosome, seen here at the Grammy Awards where they were nominated for something to do with how much money their album made despite its lack of artistic merit, have said that in a bid to stop any further public mishaps that they will cancel all public appearances scheduled for the second week of every month.
“We spend so much time in the studio, playing video games while our engineer writes the tracks,” explained Axwell. “If we’re not in the studio together then we’re on the touring jet which can become quite cramped, it’s only got six bedrooms, a bar and two games rooms so things can get a little tight.”
“The first time it happened I woke up with some blood around my anus and naturally thought I’d ruptured my anal cavity from having my head so far up it,” continued Axwell, “but when I leapt off the top bunk I found Seb on his bunk looking embarrassed and confused with blood running down his leg too.”
Seb claims that they were so perturbed by them getting periods that they cancelled their morning money fight and sought medical advice.
“After I got one of my assistants to clean it off we called a doctor who said that, because we’re now such primadonnas who pull out of public engagements in fear of hard questions, that we get periods now,” explained Seb. “I just feel bad for Steve Angello, he would have loved to have shared this bond with us.”
“To be honest, I’m proud of it now, when two men share a bond like we do, one which causes them to bleed from their asses at the same time every month, you know that it’s only happening because they spend so much time together professionally,” concluded Seb. “No amateurs would get synced periods that’s for sure.”
