Big Smartphone Screens Mostly Used For Doing Lines Of Cocaine At Festivals

Clubbers and festival goers around the world are unanimous in their delight at the size of smartphone screens – which they claim make them perfect flat surfaces for snorting cocaine.

“I have the new Samsung Galazy 15, it’s amazing, the screen is the size of a small telly, meaning I can rack out a good ten to fifteen lines,” claimed drug user and smartphone owner, Mark Kelly. “It means I won’t have to keep doing unsatisfying bumps and risk losing my keys or cutting my nostril on the hard edge of them.”

“Tents are notoriously terrible places to be decking out lines of chalk,” he continued. “You’d have to bring a book and risk looking like one of those nerds who reads for pleasure if you wanted to get a line making surface.”

“But now, with the big screens on smartphones, everyone’s got a ready made cocaine station in their back pocket at all times,” he added. “We really should shake the hand of whoever in Samsung decided to start making the screens fit the whole phone. That dude defo deserves a big line.”

The use of smartphone screens as surfaces for taking drugs is rumoured to be amongst the most frequently cited advantages of the large screens – with some 85% of young people claiming they’ve used their phone screen to do lines when outdoors.

Read: Man Happy To Hide Lack Of Personality By Being Generous With His Cocaine

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