An Irishman has claimed that his nose is two hundred brake horsepower after sniffing an entire gram of ketamine in one go.
Ian Marshall made the claim at a recent house party shortly after sniffing the “massive line” of ketaime, just moments before collapsing on the ground and becoming a drooling mess and eventually shitting his trousers.
“It was pretty fucking hilarious to be honest with,” claimed Mr Marshall’s friend Jack. “Iano’s always giving it the big one about how deadly he is at taking drugs, he was pure showing off to some bird by snorting an entire gram in one go, the big fucking dope.”
“Straight after he done it he was all ‘my nose is two hundred brake horsepower’ and bouncing around the party like a lunatic,” continued Jack. “But then, after about seven or eight minutes, he just collapsed on the ground, and started totally spazzing out like an epileptic at a strobe light convention.”
“We were all having great craic, balancing stuff on him, taking selfies with our nuts and arses on his face and sending pictures of our dicks to all of his friend on Facebook with his phone,” joked the young man. “Then, all of a sudden, he let out this big groan and shat his pants. It was fucking horrible, the smell was disgusting. I haven’t seen a room clear that quickly since a Bill Cosby lookalike offered to buy a round of drinks for the entire bar during freshers week.”
According to reports, Mr Marshall came out of his K hole approximately two hours later and spent the rest of the night wearing a black bag as a pair of trousers.