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December 1, 2016
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Bloke Set To Start Christmas Drinking Any Day Now

An Irishman has revealed that he is about to start his Christmas drinking “any day now”.

Stephen “Steo” O’Reilly, claims that he has been “stocking up on Christmas gargle” since mid July and believes it is “just about time” to start his festive drinking.

“It’s the same every year,” Steo told us earlier. “Everyone’s always wondering when is the appropriate time to start drinking at Christmas, some people say it’s straight after the Christmas dinner, others believe you should start drinking as soon as you get up on Christmas morning. Personally, I like to start the first week of December so I’ll probably crack on any day now.”

“I have a good stash put away in the shed,” revealed Steo, a forty four year old carpenter. “I’ve been going up the north and taking advantage of the weak sterling. I’ve probably got two, or three, hundred cans, six crates of vodka, a dozen bottle of whiskey and a pallet of wine so another two or three trips up in the van this month and I’ll be sorted.”

“It’s almost the weekend now so once that kicks in I’ll put the tree up and then start my drinking,” continued Steo. “Then all I have to do is buy a few selection boxes for the kids and make a quick trip to Lanzarote to pick up a couple of thousand smokes on the cheap and I’ll be all set. I get my holiday in work on the twenty second but we started winding down in mid-October so there’ll be nothing too stressful for the rest of the month.”

According to Wunderground sources, Mr O’Reilly began his Christmas drinking shorty after talking to Wunderground and doesn’t plan on stopping it until the 30 November 2017.

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