A queue of around two hundred people outside a London rave were put on “high alert” after noticing a policewoman with a sniffer dog assisting security at the entrance to the club.
According to witnesses, panic spread like “herpes amongst hoes” when twenty one year old James Taylor, from Kent, England, asked his friend if sniffer dogs can smell pills.
“It’s one of those questions that nobody knows the answer to,” claimed a more relaxed James having entered the club without any problems. “I nearly shit my pants when I saw that dog but that would have been the worst thing to do as I had fifty pills shoved up my arse. I ain’t too sure what those dogs can detect but it certainly wasn’t ecstasy, ket or coke. Me and my pals got loads of stuff in. I actually don’t recall seeing one person get pulled out of the queue.”
“My God it was panic stations all around,” laughed twenty five year old Esther Barnaby, who also happened to be in the queue when the police arrived. “Blokes were shoving drugs up their arses, girls were sticking wraps in their fannies. I even saw one bloke eat fourteen grams of MD through fear and then try to puke it up because he was still concerned the dog might be able to smell it in his stomach. I actually ran into him four hours later, he was doing the running man dance, naked, in the smoking area, singing a Little Mix song at the top of his voice. Obviously his stuff worked well for him.”
Wunderground spoke with PC Sandra Moorly with regards to the incident, “We just like to fuck with ravers,” she told us. “The dog I had with me was suffering from a cold, so couldn’t smell a thing. I didn’t tell them that though, about half of them threw their gear away after they saw the dog anyway so it still worked as deterrent. Watching that many people get anxious over my little puppy is just brilliant.”
