Channel 4 executives have announced that the hugely popular show One Born Every Minute will now focus exclusively on DJs.
The decision to slightly change the show’s format was made after a recent census revealed that approximately 90% of the nation’s population, under the age of twenty-three, now consider themselves to be DJs.
“Well, with the way the country’s currently going we think it’s fair to say that most of the babies we’ve been featuring on the show will end up being DJs at some stage in their lives anyway,” explained executive producer Karl Prince.
“In the last ten years, nine out of ten babies born in the UK are already registered as, or interested in becoming, DJs by the time they’re five or six years old,” continued Mr Prince.
“So, by the law of averages, most of the babies we use on the show will be future DJs and, to sweeten the deal, we’ll also have them tied to contracts to say we’ll be their managers, booking agents and publicists in the unlikely event of any of them actually making it..”
According to sources, parents who wish to appear on the show will be forced to listen to nothing but tech house and microdose ketamine throughout the duration of their pregnancy to give the babies the best possible chance of becoming a DJ.
