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Cheryl Cole Confirms Girls Aloud Techno Album

Cheryl Cole has confirmed that Girls Aloud are set to reform and record a techno album early next year.

Cole, best known for having her ass covered in a rose tattoo, made the announcement yesterday on her verified Facebook page, writing “It’s official the Girls are back in town, GA techno album coming next year”.

The announcement has been met with mixed responses from Girls Aloud fans, many of whom claim they’re “too old to listen to that shit” now.

“Twenty six year old Nicola Smith spoke to Wunderground, “I was a huge Girls Aloud fan back in the day,” she confirmed. “When I was thirteen I had my entire bedroom covered in Girls Aloud posters, I even had Girls Aloud wall paper and a duvet cover. I genuinely thought they were the greatest band of all time.”

“But as I got a little older I started to realise that they were just five chavs, with minimal talent, put together to form a band that would appeal to children,” continued Smith. “There’s no way I’d listen to another normal Girls Aloud album, I’ve got good taste in music now, but I’d definitely give a Girls Aloud techno album a shot, even if it’s just to know how shit it is.”

Wunderground also managed to speak to Cole about the upcoming album, “It’s really exciting to be getting back into the studio with all the girls,” she explained in her hilarious Geordie accent. “We’ve not all been together for almost three years so it’ll be great to see everyone again, the best thing about a techno album is that we don’t really have to do anything, just a couple of vocal samples and photo shoots and it’s done.”

“Apparently there’s a techno machine that makes the music for you,” claimed Cole. “So we’ll just let the machine do the work and then go on a tour around all the best nightclubs in Britain, I canny wait, just make sure no toilet attendants get in my face.”

According to reports, Girls Aloud’s techno album is to be ghost written by Hannah Wants and will be titled Aloud of Trap.

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