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May 26, 2014
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Conflict In Ukraine Revealed To Be The Result Of A Vinyl Versus Digital DJ Debate

The devastating footage depicting the escalation of violence in Kiev, Ukraine had many wondering what caused such a sudden shift. Today it was revealed that Ukraine President Viktor Yanukovych has been a lifelong vinyl purist.

“The youth of Kiev are unable to see it from a traditional perspective,” says CNN reporter Daniel Richards. “President Yanukovych grew up in a very analogue household.”

Many of the fires that began in Independence Square are the result of burning old record collections that symbolize the old regime. The Kiev police attempted their own similar counter-protest but were dissuaded by the minimal impact burning thousands of digital records would have.

The revolutionaries are calling both vinyl and the President “old and irrelevant.” Joining the EU would be seen as a progression. Signs saying “No more records” have become commonplace. What may seem like an overreaction by the Ukrainian people is likely the result of years of built up resentment for a government that can’t “get with the times”.

Just yesterday there was an exchange of throwing records and flash drives at each other. Though conflict has calmed down for now, it is unclear whether or not a peace agreement can be reached. Representatives are currently debating whether such a treaty would be written on paper or in Word.

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