A recent survey in populist drinkers bible Lash Magazine has seen Red Dwarf legend, part-time DJ and full time PR car-crash Craig Charles come out on top again, having been voted “DJ most fun to smoke crack with”.
The funk and soul selector extraordinaire is said to be “high as a kite” upon news of the award, having seen off stiff competition from the likes of Ricardo Villalobos, Source Direct and Tony Blackburn.
We got in touch with Joy Brewer, head of Mr Charles’s endlessly committed and frequently exasperated PR team, to find out how the former Robot Wars presenter was taking the news.
“To say Craig is over the moon would be something of an understatement. I mean literally. He’s currently so high he’s nearly on Venus and running a temperature not a world away from the surface of Mercury,” explained Ms Brewer whilst burning Polaroids of a strangled prostitute in a spare crack bong.
“In all fairness he actually started celebrating before he was nominated but, seeing as we’ve just successfully managed to stop Coronation Street firing him for the fifty second time, we thought we’d let him have this one.”
In celebration of the landmark award, Craig has also promised fans a never before attempted, sensational forty eight hour long DJ set, which will be live streamed from the basement of a derelict house in East London, which currently has old hessian rugs hanging from the walls and burning shell suit tops in place of curtains.
The live streaming computer will be running off a generator cabled into the car battery of the next door neighbour’s ’08 reg Ford Focus.
Sources close to Mr Charles say he has already asked each of them individually if he can borrow seventy to eighty five pence ahead of the gig as he’s “just down here for a job interview and needs to borrow some change so he can ring the company to say he’s running a bit late”.
