Today: January 6, 2026
June 20, 2015
1 min read

Craig David Meets Girl On Monday, Ends Up Making Love To Her By Wednesday

Craig David Meets Girl On Monday, Making Love To Her By Wednesday

UK R&B star Craig David has today revealed how he managed to make love to a woman he met on Monday by Wednesday.

Craig claims he was out at his local Costa coffee, trying to use his fame to get the barista to let him get a free coffee even those his loyalty card was two stamps short, when he spotted a girl standing outside.

“She was a beautiful honey with a beautiful body,” gushed David who claims that when he approached her she asked him for the time. “I quipped back that it’d cost her her name, number and a date.”

Craig insists that despite the vaguely cheesy vibe of his approach that the girl “didn’t decline or mind” and that it was “for real, damn sure”.

“We promised to meet up on Monday for a bottle of Moet for two,” he continued. “This was on Monday, then I took her for the drink on Tuesday and, get this, we were making love by Wednesday.”

“We slept together again on Thursday and Friday and Saturday,” he added. “But we were wrecked from all the shagging so decided to chill on Sunday.”

“The sex was some of the best I’ve ever had,” said David excitedly before trailing off in a nonsensical sex rant. “She told me she’d love to unfold me all night long. Ooh I loved the way she kicked it from the front to back she flipped back she flipped it, ooh the way she kicked it.”

Craig concluded by saying that he’s “not a man to play around” and that “a one night stand isn’t really fair”, adding that he’s the kind of man “who’ll always be there”.

Previous Story

Dizzee Rascal Falls Off Roundabout

Next Story

“She Looked Pretty Stupid With A Chimney On Her” Reveals The Tamperer

Latest from Blog

DJ kink adds air fryer to studio setup

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a Bosch Air Fryer to his live setup. “I fucking love it!” said KINK. “You can literally do anything with this