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June 22, 2014
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DEA To Sell Seized Drugs To Cover USA’s National Debt

In a surprise move by the Drug Enforcement Agency, they have announced today that they will begin to sell the drugs they have seized in an effort to cover the ever increasing national debt facing the United States.  The scheme will see DEA agents take to street corners with a wide variety of products, which they claim, “Were just going to waste in the office anyway.”

A spokesperson for the agency had this to say, “I watched Breaking Bad there recently and thought it was great.  I didn’t see the end to be fair, just up until the end of the fourth season.  Everything seemed to work out OK for them in the end.”  He continued, “We already have guns, flak jackets and armoured vehicles, and the backing of the CIA, we’re literally bulletproof.”

It has caused some consternation amongst anti-drug lobbyists in America, who claim that it will glorify the selling of drugs and that it will encourage young people to take them.  The DEA responded with, “Yeah, that’s the plan alright.”

A top economist was interviewed about the possibility, however he was too busy salivating over the thought of more cash being injected into the economy to comment.  He unfortunately had to be wheeled away in a wheelbarrow full off money in order to calm him down.

“The scheme will be rolled out this coming summer all over the States.  Just look for the DEA jackets on your local street corner.”

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