Well regarded Amsterdam deep house bible, Deep House Amsterdam, have today placed a bid to buy EDM-slating, booze-flecked satire site, Wunderground, in a bid to stop the waves of anti-deep house press coverage.
“We’re just sick to the back teeth of everyone slating deep house, or what the media and idiots who follow the media, have labelled deep house,” claimed Deep House Amsterdam spokesperson, Lex, who admitted that, while they have been promoting real deep house for years, in the last year they’ve seen their reader numbers jump as “everything is now deep house”.
“D’ya hear the sound of that toilet flushing? That’s deep house. That car driving past outside the window? Deep house again. Everything is now deep house. About the only thing not deep house is anything in the last year that has been labelled deep house.”
“Ideally what we’d have done is to buy Beatport about two years ago before they started labeling everything that had a slight crossover appeal as deep house despite it not sounding like real deep house, or we could have just assassinated everyone who was quick to jump on the burgeoning misnomer.”
“But we can’t do that and now that everything is deep house we’re just going to have to go along with it,” continued Lex, “but unfortunately Wunderground have been constantly trying to undermine the marketability of deep house by pointing out that what’s being called deep house isn’t and also by slating the uneducated hipster following of tight vest clad tattoo models that are attracted to it.”
“So we’re doing the next best thing, we’re going to buy Wunderground to ensure that any deep house related story that they run is favourable,” added Lex. “We figure if EDM DJs can buy good press in the DJ Mag Top 100 then we’ll be able to buy good press for Deep House.”
Wunderground are currently considering the offer which is estimated to be four bags of Dutch ketamine, a signed copy of Euphoria Trance Classics, Steve Aoki’s personal phone number and a lifetime’s supply of Cheesy Wotsits.
