DJ Mag To Scrap Top 100 DJs For DJ Dick Measuring Contest


Reports from the electronic music indsutry suggest that DJ Mag are set to scrap this year’s Top 100 DJs poll and replace it with a “DJ Dick Measuring Contest”.

Insiders at the publication have confirmed that “bosses are unhappy with the direction the Top 100 DJs has gone” and are looking to revamp the brand’s image with a brand new annual competition.

“The Top 100 DJs has served its purpose for almost thirty years now but, like all good things, it must come to an end eventually,” one DJ Mag employee explained. “When it first started, the poll was underground and cool but eventually it just turned into a PR exercise, now it’s time to spice things up again and replace it with something new.”

“So, after a massive think tank, the powers that be have decided to change it up and replace this year’s poll with the DJ Dick Measuring Contest,” continued Wunderground’s source. “Apparently, they feel that in 2019, this is the best way to judge who the most indemand DJ in the world is.”

“I’m not sure if I really agree if I’m being perfectly honest,” the DJ Mag employee admitted hesitantly. “It is great that it’s not just open to the DJs with the biggest marketing budgets but what about all of the DJs out there who don’t have dicks? They’ve always tried their best to keep female DJs off the poll in the past but if they’re not careful, this could be judged to be slightly sexist.”

Bookmakers have made Calvin Harris the favourite to win the first annual DJ Dick Measuring Contest, with the Scotsman currently 1/100 to take first place.

“While most of the DJs out there will just be measuring their penises, which for the majority of the top guys will be somewhere between six and eight centimeters, Harris is actually a giant dick and measures in at almost two meters,” explained an underground bookmaker, “which is going to be extremely hard for any other DJ to beat.”

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DJ Mag To Scrap Top 100 DJs For DJ Dick Measuring Contest

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