DJMag are celebrating an incredible victory today as their “Top 100 DJs” poll has reached number 3 in the “Top 100 Most Useless Magazine Polls” poll. They have chosen to celebrate the occasion by hosting an event which will see over seven of the DJs on their list play live in their offices. Many sources believe that by “over seven”, they may mean “eight”.
The “Top 100 Useless Magazine Polls” poll was renamed last year, formerly being known as “The Top 100 Most Useless Top 100’s”, and was renamed specifically so that the organisers could also fit in useless Top 10 lists, like the entire content of the websites listverse.com and Buzzfeed.
The news of the win was announced today by Mr. Connor Bation, a representative of the Polls Committee, which is a group that takes polls to find out which polls are polling well.
“We are pleased to announce this year’s winners… In third place is DJmag’s Top 100 DJs, Channel 4’s Top 100 Sexy Moments has stormed into second place, and taking the top spot this year is…”continued Mr. Bation before pausing for dramatic effect, “Top 100 Songs Now from the website www.top100songsnow.com, which has won purely by placing Enrique Iglesias’s Bailando in its top spot. We believe that this alone indicates how truly useless this particular Top 100 list is.”
We here at Wunderground talked to Ben Murphy, editor of DJMag, earlier today about the victory. We found him in his office wearing a small paper party hat while swilling champagne out of an employee’s navel.
“We’re so proud, as a team. Even though I’m the editor, we’re still a team. I don’t care if it was a poll of ‘useless magazine polls’, we managed to get to number three. Number is three is only two less than one. That’s an achievement.”
He continued, “Avicii came third in our list of Top 100 DJs last year and he celebrated in style – by taking basic music lessons. He celebrated even though he realised that the win meant absolutely nothing to anyone with even the most basic of critical faculties.”
DJmag’s win this year is the first time their list has been honoured in this way, and editor in chief Murphy thinks they could achieve the top spot next year with just a little work.
“Imagine if our top 10 DJs this year had names like David Guetta, Calvin Harris, Steve Aoki, Avicii, Paris Hilton, Chris Moyles and Tim Westwood in it. Just imagine. We’d be guaranteed the top spot in next year’s ‘Top 100 Useless Magazine Polls’. So get voting, it’s in your hands people!” he said.
It was here that we pointed out that most of those names were in their top 10 last year and Ben replied incredulously, “Yeah, exactly. That’s why we’ve achieved number three this year.”
