DJ Storm went home disappointed this week after the Alabama-based bedroom DJ travelled all around the city looking for a brick wall to shoot promotional pictures in front of with his photographer, but instead found nothing but billboards and ads for soon-to-be-cancelled sitcoms.
“You’d think there would be at least one. ONE,” he exclaimed while holding up his index finger and maintaining a stare which seemed to suggest that his inability to find one example of urban decay was in itself an example of urban decay. “I know it’s my duty as a DJ to have brick-wall promos, and ominous sunglasses pictures, but I guess I’ll just have to pack it in as a DJ altogether.”
Veteran DJ Yeehaw of the town’s only legal dance club sympathizes with formerly DJ Storm, who now just wishes to be known by his Christian name, Storm. “As a youth I knew standing arms crossed while looking askew against a brick wall was the first thing I had to do if I wanted to make it,” he explained.
“Anyone can get their picture taken in their bedroom, but it takes a certain drive to get that brick wall shot. I myself had to make one myself using bits of old porn mags, spray paint and actual bricks but I almost lost my cross fading hand in the process when I became aroused by one of the porn mags and accidentally dropped a brick onto it.”
“Thankfully the ejaculation masked the pain and I was able to recover to DJ again,” he added.
Over the years the city has been hit with economic turmoil which led to the city’s use of vacant brick walls as an abundant space of advertising to increase revenue. Brick walls were essentially seen as vacant money trees. Now about once a week you can see a young man with headphones around his neck approach a once-empty brick wall and turn away in disappointment.
Modern technology could allow Storm to use photoshop to place a brick wall into his pictures but the effectiveness of such faux DJ credibility remains in question and as a result has led to Storm giving up on his DJing dream and returning to his job as a meteorologist.
who is comming up with these stories????? this is the second inaccurate post about something not true, this guy couldnt come to 111 st & Broadway in NYC?? theres a high school that has allowed some of the most prominate graffitti artist pait there walls. the entire outside sucumfrenece of the school is covered with real nice artwork by BiO, Mack, Nicer..TaTs cru. Alphabet city in lower Manhattan, so many urban areas in the bronx!! change this to ”
DJ’s Career Cut Short After Using Unproductive, Lazy Marketing Agency!
google ” graffitti in new york!” heloooo!!! good riddance!!
I suggest you get a dictionary, open it to the page where it says “satire” and then smack yourself repeatedly with that page until you get it…
Not just the page, the whole book. And once you’ve understood “satire”, read all the articles about EDM on here,
Not just the page, as James said below – I suggest the whole book. And once you’ve understood “satire”, read all the articles on here about EDM. Then delete all the music you’ve downloaded recently and start again.