A recent survey carried out by the Private Residential Tenancy Agency, PRTA, has revealed that DJs are the worst profession to have as neighbours.
The survey’s results revealed that DJs are the profession most likely to cause noise complaints and the least likely to “give a fuck about them”.
“I actually lived next door to a DJ for a couple of months back in 2001 so I’m not surprised by these results at all,” explained PRTA spokesperson William Frost. “It was probably the worst, and best couple of months of my life. He threw some absolutely smashing parties, the only problem was they were still going on Monday morning when I was on my way to work.”
“I knocked in a couple of times to ask would he mind keeping the noise down a little but it’s hard to complain when you’ve spent the previous forty-eight hours in the flat sniffing various powders and throwing random objects off the balcony so, more often than not, me knocking in ended up with me partying for another five or six hours,” continued Frost. “I tried ear plugs but they were no use, eventually I just moved out. I really miss that flat.”
Wunderground also spoke to Austrian Sami Lauda, a.k.a. DJ Play It Lauda, about the survey’s results. “This is silly, everyone knows DJs are great to live beside,” he claimed. “What’s not to like? You’ll be constantly exposed to the freshest music, have the best parties on your doorstep and meet all of the coolest cats in your neighbourhood, I think the survey got it wrong.”
“Where else are you going to have the option to party from a Tuesday night right through to a Thursday morning?” asked Lauda. “Nowhere, apart from living next door to a DJ, that’s where. If you can’t deal with that, you’re obviously not cool enough to be living next to a DJ and should probably try to find somewhere else to live.”
According to the survey’s results, other occupations which make problematic neighbours include; animal breeders, drummers, meth cooks and human traffickers.