A young drug dealer who likes to use the popular “handshake handoff” when passing drugs to his customers has admitted that it feels “shit cool.”
Nineteen year old Sam Barnes from Liverpool, pictured here before he adopted the handshake, has claimed that performing the action, popularised on American crime dramas like The Wire and The Shield, makes him feel like he’s a “badass drug dealing character” from those shows.
“I used to just hand the coke to the customer like the other boring dealers,” explained Sam. “But that just wasn’t exciting enough for me. It just didn’t have the effortless panache of a hard hitting crime drama so in an effort to shake things up I started doing the handshake handoff.”
“I noticed the results immediately,” he continued. “People started looking at me differently. There’s something about nestling drugs in your palm and then passing those drugs to a customer as if you’re two friends shaking hands that makes you feel sexy. It’s furtive and discreet yet blatantly obvious at the same time.”
“I might be white but every time I pass drugs in that way, I feel a little black inside,” he added. “Of course I do always combine the handshake with a fist bump, so that helps.”
“I started selling drugs to look cool and wear hoodies, not for the money,” concluded Sam. “Although the money is pretty great.”
