In the latest twist in the Pokémon Go story, it now appears that drug dealers all over the world are using the interactive app to meet potential new customers.
According to reports, dealers are congregating in “Pokémon hot spots” where they are offering their goods to the hoards of people showing up to play the game.
Street dealer Big Cheez spoke to Wunderground, “Pokémon Go is easily the most revolutionary thing to happen to drug dealing since the launch of the Silk Road website back in 2011. I’ve actually tripled my productivity in the last two weeks and it’s all thanks to this game.”
“The Pokémon Go crowd are basically a drug dealer’s dream,” continued Mr Cheez. “They’re mostly all within the fifteen to thirty five year old age group, which makes them fairly likely to be open to recreational drug use, they obviously don’t have girlfriends, which gives them more disposable income and they’re most likely nerds and dweebs, which makes them easy to intimidate and force into buying drugs.”
“After a while you get to know what drugs people are going to want by the Pokémon they’re trying to catch,” claimed the dealer. “For example, people looking for Pikachu or Nidoran are almost certainly going to be looking for pot, while people looking for the more aggressive Pokémon, like a Agron or Sharpedo, are probably going to be looking for something a bit harder, like pills or coke, and then there’s the people after the poisonous Pokémon, like a Gastly or Gengar, who will definitely want some crack or heroin.”
“They may as well have named the app Pokémon Gear, gotta sell it all, gotta sell it all.”
Wunderground sources have confirmed that Interpol are set to tackle the current trend of Pokémon related drug dealing with a new initiative called Pokémon No, which will try to educate children against the dangers of interactive drug deals.
