A drunken Irish man has categorically “ruined Mother’s day” for his mother by accidentally sending her a Snapchat of his erect penis.
Father of three, Mark Malloy, made the fatal error early on Sunday morning during a boozy golfing weekend away with friends. He explained his mistake to Wunderground, “I can’t believe what I’ve done, I was so drunk last night, I only found out this morning after receiving a very angry phone call from my mother.”
“I sent two drunk Snapchats from my hotel room at three o’clock this morning after a heavy nights drinking,” revealed Malloy (36). “One, which was meant for my mam, was a picture of my face that said ‘Happy Mother’s Day, I’ll come visit tomorrow!’ and the other, which was meant for my wife, was a picture of my cock which said, ‘Wanna be a mother again you dirty little whore?'”
“I obviously got the numbers mixed up and now my mother thinks I’m some sort of sick pervert,” he continued. “I mean I totally am a sick pervert, but honestly my mother is well down the list of women I’d like to fuck. I’m worried that she’ll never be able to look me in the eye again, after looking me directly in the jap’s eye.”
The exact picture itself is unprintable and not fit for public consumption but sources close to the incident suggest that it “was a little veiny” but “not in a way that’d turn you off”.
Sue Malloy, Mark’s mother, also commented on the incident, “I really don’t want to think about it, getting woken up to a picture of your own son’s erect penis is bad enough but on Mother’s Day, I thought I was having some sort of horrible nightmare.”
“I’ve always known he was going to grow up to be a sick little bollox, ever since I caught him with his mickey in a ham sandwich when he was twelve,” admitted Mrs. Malloy. “It’s his wife who I feel sorry for because he hasn’t really grown up much since then, if you know what I mean.”
