An independent report published by the British Arts Council today sensationally declared the once internationally respected genre of dubstep is “now more damaging to a DJ’s career trajectory than homophobia”.
The report, which has caused massive waves in the electronic music community, cited popular homophobe and part-time house producer Ten Walls aka Mario Basanov as a prime example of the damaging impact dubstep can have on an up and coming DJ’s career.
Kathleen Wiles of the Art’s Council explains, “What with massively skyrocketing London rents and generally higher living costs we’ve seen a massive increase in the number of aspiring DJs and producers applying for Arts Council grants in the past few years, instead of knuckling down at a proper job.”
“Now this is absolutely fine if you make brainless, easy to market house music as we can definitely see a profit in you. I mean just look at ignorant scum like Ten Walls: Rampantly homophobic and essentially living in the modern day with the attitudes of a pagan Visigoth but can still rattle out a few Beatport number ones and at least a couple of club bookings per week anyway.” Explained Ms Wiles with all the compassion and warmth of a divorced Waitrose fish counter worker.
“People can seemingly ignore the hateful bile he spilled all over his social media not too long ago and still pay upwards of twenty quid to go see him but, in the current market, hardworking dubstep DJs literally have less commercial viability than a Lego Auschwitz set!”
“As much as we claim to be all about the art we really cannot justify giving money to people that just can’t make a return on our investment so these dubstep artists are sunk.”
Wunderground spoke with a popular UK dubstep producer (who wished to remain nameless) for their take on the current health of the scene.
“Well things have definitely started to pick up in the past twelve months and when I say pick up I mean people are asking me to play shows for free again, which is at last a start, but I have actually been forced to anonymously produce pummelling, greyscale techno for the past two years just to keep my bookings afloat,” our source explained.
“On its own that wouldn’t be so bad but unfortunately the label I release with say they can only get any real traction on social media now if I tweet outrageously nationalist comments and images a few days before a release. So, I’ve been forced to headline a monthly night called The National Front Disco just to keep the lights on in my studio.” Our source continued as the colour drained (somewhat fittingly) from his face.
“Still though I’ve got to stay positive, at least I haven’t had to ghost-produce for Hannah Wants. No matter how bad things get there are some lows even I won’t stoop to. Yet”
