Dutch DJ Dash Berlin Scores 1 Out Of 20 In Online Geography Test
Dutch trance DJ Dash Berlin has reportedly scored a massively disappointing one out of twenty in an online geography test.
Dash, real name Jeffrey Sutorius, was rated a “geographical imbecile” by the test, despite the fact that it was designed to be taken by children as young as eight.
Test engineer Alan Bambury spoke to Wunderground about the improbable results, “One out of ten is an extremely rare outcome with our test, in fact the only other people to score so low were either blind, American or on heroin.”
“The questions are not only extremely easy but they’re also in a multi-choice format which makes it very difficult for a person to score so low,” continued Mr. Bambury. “Only someone with a complete disregard for geographical awareness could actually achieve such a score.”
“The average person will usually score somewhere between twelve and eighteen,” continued the test designer. “So a score of one is extremely rare, it’s surprising for someone from Holland who called himself after the capital city of Germany to not actually know where it is on a map.”
According to Dash Berlin, the test was “complete nonsense” and the result should not be treated with any authority.
“The whole thing was a load of bollix,” claimed the Dutch DJ. “I mean one of the questions was ‘where is Amsterdam?’ The options it gave were ‘Belgium, Germany, France or The Netherlands’ I know it’s not Germany, France or Belgium and it’s hardly going to be where Peter Pan came from so they were obviously asking trick questions, it’s no wonder I scored so badly.”
“I definitely want a second opinion, if the Nile is the longest river in the world how can the Pacific Ocean be the biggest body of water in the world? And water doesn’t even have a body. The whole thing was a complete joke!”
According to friends of the DJ, Dash was so upset by the results of the test that he has decided to take a short Caribbean holiday in Bournemouth to recover from the dismay.