An EDM fan from Dallas, Texas, has been left in shock after discovering that colourful English DJ Boy George is actually a man.
Mark Williams, a student in the Southern Methodist University, made the shocking discovery while trying to figure out which one of the five female DJs in The DJ Mag Top 100 is the hottest.
“There’s two things in this world that I really love,” claimed Williams during a chat with Wunderground. “And that’s EDM and hot chicks, so naturally hot EDM DJs are pretty much my favourite thing in the whole wide world, apart from pumping iron and hanging in the frat house comparing dicks with my Kappa Sigma brothers.”
“I wanted to find out who the biggest hottie in EDM was. The only problem with that is that there aren’t really very many chick DJs out there,” continued the beefy sophomore. “As far as I can tell there’s only the ones on the DJ Mag Top 100 and Paris Hilton, but she’s technically a praying mantis-human hybrid so I don’t think I can include her genetically speaking.”
“There’s Krewella and Nervo and, up until last night, I thought there was Boy George too but it turns out he’s a dude in makeup,” explained the student who claims to be a “die hard” EDM fan after Steve Aoki spat champagne in his face at EDC. “I guess chicks just don’t DJ as good as dudes but at least it makes picking the hottest one a little easier.”
“Now I don’t know how you guys do EDM over in England or Brazil or whatever but here in Dallas we like our DJ babes hot and our DJ dudes bad ass, not wearing makeup and flowery earrings,” continued Williams. “We can leave that to all those Burning Man bozos, those guys don’t have a clue about real EDM.”
“I also like my bros to subscribe to an idea of masculinity that mostly revolves around bench pressing, homophobia and slut-shaming,” he added. “Dudes wearing makeup don’t fall into that and don’t belong in EDM culture.”
“To think I nearly jacked it to that dude. That would have been even gayer than back rub Tuesdays in the frat house showers, which totally isn’t gay it’s just to relieve the tension after lacrosse. I’ll never think about listening to one of his megamixes again.”
After careful consideration Mr. Williams decided that the Nervo sisters were both the “world’s hottest EDM chick” a decision that is sure to have the Krewella sisters reaching for the bottle to drown their sorrows, luckily for them they won’t have to reach too far as it’s already in their hands.
