A camera man spoke out recently about being unceremoniously axed from the crew of the reality TV series ‘The Pauly D Project‘, following accusations of a breach of contract by the show’s producers.
Matt Brown, a 27 year old media graduate, had landed the job filming for the show after working on its predecessor show, ‘Jersey Shore‘, a fly on the wall look into Guido culture. “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” stated Brown. “I was following men around that were referred to as ‘Gorilla Juice Heads’ and women who looked like Barbie Dolls dipped in human, or quite possibly dog, shit.”
Paul DelVecchio, publicly known as ‘DJ Pauly D’, gained popularity as one of the housemates on the TV series. “It all began to go downhill after a while though,” explained documentary maker, Matt Brown. “The housemates descended into drug addiction, pregnancy and sarcastically inevitable STI’S, which was bad for ratings, not to mention, personal health. So as a result DelVecchio was given his own spin off series and I was asked to help film it.”
Cameras were permitted to follow the 33 year old aspiring DJ as he embarked on his music career. This plan backfired for DelVecchio however as Brown decided to secretly follow Pauly D to the recording studio which was the one place the camera crew were under contractual orders not to film because Pauly D “masturbates steely eyed at his own reflection for most of the day.”
“It was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen,” claimed Brown as he described the event. “I poked my camera lens through the crack in the open door and saw DelVecchio in the process or recording ‘Beat Dat Beat.’ He was just screaming into one of those Fisher Price karaoke machines, you know, like they had in the 80’s? So that ‘song’ is basically him screaming manically whilst smashing his head repeatedly against the wall,” explained Brown. “I think that was supposed to be the drum beat. It was only when I zoomed in closer that I realised that all his studio equipment was made out of cereal boxes.”
Brown then shared the video amongst his friends and when questioned if the strange recording technique sounded acceptable Brown replied, “Of course not! Even after fancy producers spent thousands of dollars tweaking and adding to the track it still sounded like the musical equivalent of a rectal prolapse. Except better.”
Brown was soon discovered by security and brought before The Pauly D Project’s executives. He claims that he was “fired on the spot” and that any recorded data was seized and subsequently destroyed lest the Guido Icon be exposed.
“I would have left after that anyway,” declared the former crew member. “I refused to take any further part in the enabling of this idiot. Anybody with ears or who hasn’t had a bottle smashed over their head every time they leave their house can tell he’s talentless.”
“I guess the people who buy into this crap are too busy beating the shit out of each other and screaming to notice.”
thank you for bringing this to our attention Anita, great peice