A twenty seven year old man who spent his Sunday afternoon searching for local women on Tinder, is said to be “utterly convinced” that swiping left on a girl wearing polka dots and boasting about her love for tea and cats in her bio was the correct decision.
Projects Manager, Tim Dalton, referred to bypassing the attractive brunette as an absolute “no brainer”, claiming girls like that are, without a doubt, the “worst kind” and definitely ones to avoid.
“I’ve been caught out with one of them before,” Tim laughed. “I met up with this girl called Kat, who had that cute ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ thing going on. She seemed ok online, a bit weird in places but definitely good looking enough to meet in person. She turned out to be insane. After seventy two pots of tea and her showing me photos of all thirty of her cats, she asked me back to her place. She may have been a bit odd, but I was about to get a rump out of it so it wasn’t all bad.”
“When we got back to hers, she disappeared to her bedroom and came back in a cat costume,” he continued, obviously embarrassed. “She snuggled up next to me and made me stroke her back, purring as I done it. Initially I thought it might be the beginning of a kinky sex game but, nope, it was just that for two hours. Eventually I told her I needed a wee, due to all the fucking tea she had forced on me, and ran to the bathroom, only to find an empty room with a floor covered in kitty litter. I’m talking fucking mounds of the stuff.”
“It was like a big, scary, polka dot print, tea drinking, cat circus in her house. I ran out and never went back. To this day I avoid cats, kittens, all tea including Breakfast, Mint and Herbal, all types of dots including polka dots and Dot Cotton from Eastenders. People into any of those things are not my friends” concluded Tim.
