Global Warming Causing Tour Managers To Sweat Twice As Much During Comedowns


Tour managers across the electronic music industry are reportedly now sweating twice as much during comedowns as a result of global warming.

Already believed to be the “sweatiest people in dance music”, tour managers are now producing a whopping 200 million liters of sweat every day.

According to reports, the excess sweat is having a number of serious knock-on effects on a number of different industries.

One hotel manager spoke to Wunderground, “I had a tour manager stay here for one night last weekend and the room was completely destroyed.”

“He only came into the hotel about 5am, then checked out shortly after 12 the following afternoon,” explained the manager. “Somehow, in those seven hours, he managed to completely flood the room.”

“We’ve had to close that entire wing of the hotel because everything was covered in a horrible salty residue, by the time we’re up and running again it’ll have cost us hundreds of thousands of pounds.”

Sources have also revealed that a Ryanair flight between Ibiza and Berlin was forced to make an emergency landing following a tour manager sweat related incident.

“We were forced to touch down approximately forty minutes after takeoff,” explained a member of cabin crew, “We had a tour manager sitting in the back row and the sheer volume of sweat totally messed with the plane’s weight distribution.”

“We had to make an emergency landing just to mop all of the sweat up, and to make matters worse, the sweaty prick slept through the entire thing.”

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Global Warming Causing Tour Managers To Sweat Twice As Much During Comedowns

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