English Drum and Bass stalwart Goldie has apparently cashed in on his infamous smile by selling his trademark gold teeth to Cash 4 Gold.
Cash 4 Gold spokesperson Rob Yiblind refused to name Goldie but confirmed that “some sucker” sold all of his “gnashers” for a fraction of their market value.
“We get desperate people coming into our shops selling all kinds of gold objects,” explained Yiblind earlier. “It’s not unusual to have people selling their gold teeth, many people buy them as an investment in the first place, knowing that they can cash in on them if needs be, but it is unusual to have someone come into the shop selling their entire smile.”
“What’s even more unusual is that all of his teeth were still attached to his gums when he came in,” continued the Cash 4 Gold employee. “But we’re not in the business of passing up on a good opportunity so we used a golden wrench that we’d bought off ‘Handy’ Andy Kane, the handyman from Changing Rooms, a couple of weeks ago to pull them out.”
According to music industry insiders, Goldie has struggled to find work recently and was hoping the money brought in by selling his teeth and a rebranding will help catapult him back into the public eye.
“He’s really been struggling lately,” confirmed the anonymous source. “Everyone thought the MBE would be the making of him but it’s actually had the opposite effect, no one wants an MBE DJing at their party and he’s really found it difficult to get any gigs since he received the award.”
“He’s tried all the usual acting and reality TV roles but he’s not had much success from them,” continued the industry insider. “Now that he’s sold his teeth, he’s got his rent covered for the next couple of months and he’s hoping to relaunch himself as Gummy, I really hope it works out for him, he’s a lovely bloke.”
Wunderground tried to contact Goldie for comment but were advised by sources close to the DJ that he hasn’t yet mastered the art of talking without teeth.
