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March 30, 2014
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Hardwell Threatens Ultra Music Festival After Being Dropped From Lineup

A Miami Police Department official has today revealed that they are on red alert ahead of this weekend’s Ultra Music Festival after Hardwell threatened to disrupt the event.

Phil Di Amasco, a spokespersom for the Miami P.D., spoke earlier today, “We’ve issued a red alert in response to a very real threat made by a very influential person against the Ultra Music Festival. As of now all leave has been cancelled and a number of quick response teams are on stand by and awaiting orders.”

The threats were made yesterday morning in a post made on the Dutch DJs official Facebook page, “I can’t believe I’m not playing at Ultra this weekend. Who the fuck do those guys think they are, I’m the world’s number 1 DJ for god’s sake. I made Ultra Music Festival. You guys better watch yourself because I’m going to be in Miami on Sunday and things are gonna get messy!!” The post was removed shortly afterwards.

Martin Von Schipp, a close friend of Hardwell’s, has revealed that the DJ is “devastated” to have been overlooked for the festival and worries that he may be in a “distressed mental state” as a result of the snubbing.

“I’m really worried about Robbert (Hardwell), he’s not a happy man at the moment and he can get pretty nasty when he doesn’t get his own way,” explained Von Schipp. “One time when we were in school in Breda he spiked the entire football team with laxatives twenty minutes before a match because he didn’t make it into the squad.”

“We weren’t really much of a team to begin with, but that day will always be remembered as the shittiest performance in the school’s history.”

“He’s also been acting quite strange since the line up for the festival was announced,” he claimed. “He’s been collecting all of his piss in jars and bottles and last week he had a big box of water balloons, catapults and funnels delivered to his house.”

Police intelligence has suggested that Hardwell and a number of hard line Facebook fans are planning a full on assault on the festival, although sources from within the DJ’s camp have indicated that they are merely taking the piss.

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