Prehistoric TV presenter Bruce Forsyth has today shocked the nation by claiming that heroin is “a right laugh”.
Forsyth, best known for his dancing skills and ability to get old age pensioners wet, has recently taken up smoking heroin and believes it is one of the best decisions he has ever made.
“Well, what can I say? Heroin has always been on my bucket list and, let’s be honest, I’ve been half way into the bucket for the last two decades,” explained Forsyth. “I’m just kind of chipping away at it at the moment, a little smoke never hurt anyone, I’ve been wasting my time chasing girls my whole life when I probably should have been chasing the dragon.”
“It’s a right laugh, I’ve been having so much fun smoking heroin that I’ve kinda given up on a lot of the other things on my bucket list but it’s fine, I’ve got it totally under control, I could quit at any time,” insisted the eighty eight year old. “It’s far more fun than most of the other things people my age do so I’ll just keep smoking it until it’s not fun anymore, at that point I’ll probably start injecting.”
“I’m actually going around to Chris Tarrant’s house later for a bit of a smoke, it’s always nice to see him, to see him nice,” continued Forsyth. “We’ll just sit around goofing off and watching old episodes of the Generation Game, it’s pretty much the perfect afternoon.”
In related news, legendary Hollywood actor Morgan Freeman was arrested in possession of heroin after attacking a dance music fan who mistook him for Jamie Jones.
