Reports from the US alternative festival Burning Man suggest that people around the world are “simply not doing enough to make a big massive, overblown deal” of the week long music festival in Black Rock desert Nevada.
“People are simply not doing enough to make a big fucking deal of Burning Man,” admitted festival spokesperson Sandra Billings. “They need to get out there and promote the life-changing potential of what is essentially the best music festival in the world set entirely in a desert full of post-apocalyptic hippies.”
Sandra claimed that normally anyone who has been to Burning Man will transform into a neo-hippy Burning Man convert who’ll spend long hours gushing about the festival to anyone who’ll listen over a latte and gluten free scone but that this year it’s like people aren’t that bothered anymore.
The best thing people can do, according to Sandra, is to talk about Burning Man whenever the opportunity presents itself like when someone mentions a different summer festival or when you see a man burning like in an action movie or, if you’re not from the West, in real life.
“If making a massive deal about the festival by constantly talking about it is too much of a strain then the advice is to do it whenever you can,” continued Sandra. “Those who are truly committed to making the biggest possible deal out of Burning Man would be wise to wear emblazoned t-shirts that promote the life changing big dealness of the festival with slogans that exemplify that like ‘Burning Man Is Better Than God’ or ‘Burning Man Cures AIDS’, catchy slogans like that that offer a balanced example of how big of a deal Burning Man really is.”
The truly committed according to Sandra, might want to think about getting some sort of permanent tattoo promoting Burning Man somewhere visible yet discreet like a forearm, the hand or the face.
“We encourage everyone who wants to make a bigger deal out of Burning Man than it is to tell people how amazing every aspect of the festival is,” explained Sandra. “Make sure you tell people that we burn a big fucking man at the end. We burn it. And it’s huge. It’s like a mini-9/11, and much like 9/11 it’s a raging inferno that you can see for miles and the people who built it are responsible for burning it.”
seems like the writer doesn’t have the guts to go there. .
I cant believe that u have turned a European pagan festival into some sort of commercial gain…. especially considering the hate for pagans in your country.
European pagan festival? are you confusing the Burn with Christmas?
Tell us more about this European Pagan festival! Do they have an Advertising budget?
…pretty sure it started in San Francisco with some dudes burning a wickerman on the beach, but y’know. And don’t pretend like Europe is so hip and cool, I seem to remember oh say at least 1500 years of total bullshit đ
Hate this
This article is a joke, right?
it better be :S
annnd you must be new here
Yawn. This might have been funny, hip even, around 10 years ago.
yawn, your comment might have been funny on AOL
Haha, whats AOL? đ
thanks for stopping by
Lets talk about how dumb all these comments lol lmao look at the related articles
http://897.76e.mwp.accessdomain.com/mdma-to-be-honoured-for-contribution-to-dance-music/
seems legit
burning man isn’t a music festivalâŠ..
Further proof Burning Man’s best days are in the rear view mirror. Plus it’s not a music festival. Idiots.
your a fool. how do you know that the best days are not yet to come? I mean I guess it sucks that you can’t just shoot guns off everywhere and people don’t get run over while sleeping in their tents… yeah.. what a lame boring party
Your souls will burn!!!!,
Um.. Burning Man is not a music festival, it’s a wat of life :/
funny đ
shhhh its a secret. a secret that is shared with 60,000+ people. don’t let the party-bros find out
next year was better…
Aids and 911.. really burning man? Even if a joke, sorry not funny. Why would I spread the word if there gonna say shit like that.. perhaps I will not attend this year afterall. Saddened to see that..
One year at Burning Man…
hahahaha, so silly. it is quite amazing that we will never need to all go around boasting about Burning Man to try to get the most wonderful people to attend. the best of the best already have tickets and the rest of the best will get theirs before it sells out. after that, the darlings that really, really want to go will make it happen and no hipster label or other words will be needed to describe the experience, as usual.
Playa life
it is by a different name
http://www.thewickermanfestival.co.uk/