An American inventor has been lauded today after coming up with a new type of watch which informs stoners what day of the week it is.
“For decades stoners have been walking around knowing the time maybe but being a little blurry on the day or month,” explained inventor Mark Smith. “With this new watch – just a time face that says in big bright, easy to read lettering exactly which day it is – they’ll never miss their sign on day or video game release again.”
Mark claims that he hopes to upgrade the watch in the future to include the actual time of day but baulks at actually including the precise time feeling it’s “beyond the understanding of most habitual smokers who just want to know if it’s a weekday afternoon so they can watch Ready Steady Cook”.
“We’re hoping that because of this invention regular pot smokers will never again wake up on a Monday, turn on the Xbox and have that first spliff before thinking ‘shit what day is it’, realising it’s Monday and then breathing a sigh of relief and remembering they’re on the dole anyway.”
Stoners across the country, taking time out of their schedule of Googling “chem-trails”, playing Football Manager and wanking, were overjoyed with the invention and say it’ll be a real benefit.
“It’s great, I used to walk around not knowing what day it was but, like all stoners, I can guess the time merely by looking at the angle of the light from the sun or if it’s dark out but, although I feel motion of the Earth through space I can’t pinpoint exactly what day it is.”
“Now, all I’ll have to do is wake up on the couch, take the pizza box off my face, have a little glance at the watch, notice it says Friday and go back to sleep,” he explained. “Whereas before I wouldn’t even know what day it was before I turned over and went back to sleep.”
