In a shocking revelatory tell-all exposé with L’Oreal’s in-house magazine ‘Haired It All Before”, Jennifer Aniston has shockingly announced to the world that her hair is shockingly still more famous than she is. Which is shocking. Obviously.
Those of us privileged enough to have witnessed the Citizen Kane of television comedies, Friends, will be well aware that before there was Ross and Rachel, there was “The Rachel”. A haircut more infamous than the face beneath it.
‘Friends’ blended both style and a lack of content effortlessly. With its casual ignorance of the wider world it has set the tone for such televisual achievements as ‘Two and A Half Men’, and many believe it to be partly responsible for the vapid vacuous husks that populate MTV’s ‘The Hills’.
Reports have been emerging of how Jennifer is jealous of her hair due to the sheer amount of contracts it is receiving from major companies in the world of hair-care, whilst her own career is becoming frizzy and unmanageable.
We here at Wunderground caught up with Jennifer and her hair for an interview earlier today. “We’re still friends, if you’ll excuse the joke. But we’ll never work together in a professional capacity,” her hair told us.
However, Jennifer herself was quick to hit back, claiming that her hair is getting above its station and that her bangs would be nowhere without her. Her hair countered with the argument that if you Google “Jennifer Aniston,” the first suggestion is “Jennifer Aniston’s Hair”, proving conclusively that her hair is indeed more famous than she is.
The tension in the room was now palpable, with the electricity in the air causing her hair to stand on end. Jennifer admitted the jealousy she felt, stating that the paparazzi often followed her taking pictures of just her hair and shouting, “Could it be anymore… Whatever?”
Jennifer and her hair, now dubbed ‘Hennifer’ by the type of idiotic journalists who think that combining two words is somehow an achievement in wordplay, have decided to release a statement to confirm that they will indeed part ways soon.
Jennifer was on the defensive, no doubt, but she was quick to point out, “I’m still more famous than David Schwimmer at least,” as if that was some kind of achievement.
