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December 4, 2014
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Joel Zimmerman To Retire Deadmau5 “Character”

EDM mousehead wearer, Twitter sensation and one-man controversy train, Joel Zimmerman, has today revealed that he will be retiring his famous Deadmau5 “character” and distancing himself from the highly outspoken persona.

In a live stream Q&A held in the back seat of his Ferrari the Canadian superstar revealed that his famously forthright public persona is actually just a character that he has been doing “first out of shyness” but then “to stay relevant by stirring shit”.

“Deadmau5 is, and has always been, a character just like Dapper Laughs, Johnny Vegas or Tony Blair,” explained the sombre musician. “It’s the duplicitous face I decided to show the world for the last decade of my career but I feel after the constant media attention that his outbursts were receiving it was taking focus away from what’s important – the music.”

Throughout the character’s lifespan it has variously been involved in spats with some of music’s biggest names including Madonna, Sebastian Ingrosso, Justin Bieber, Avicii, Lady Gaga, DJ Sneak, Afrojack, the Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ, your mother and Joel’s own reflection.

“It’s difficult you know because when I was being provocative to people for press attention and column inches it was strange and uncomfortable because it’s out of character for me,” explained Joel, “but I knew it had to be done if people were going to buy my music and tickets to see my cue up my tracks live.”

Joel claims that in his daily life he avoids confrontation and was often typing his Twitter outbursts “through [his] fingers” because he was “so embarrassed and because [he] can type one handed”.

“My real passions are reading period dramas, cycling and listening to live banjo music,” he added. “I only became a producer because it’s so easy to recreate formulaic EDM that a child, or grown man, could do it.”

“I don’t even really like manga or Ferraris or mice for that matter, they just sort of grew out of the character,” he added.

Describing the physical transformation that shedding the Deadmau5 look will entail Joel claimed that he “will have the tattoos removed and die my hair back to its original seaweed green”.

“With Mau5, he was able to say some rude and foolish things that I’d never say,” continued the producer, “but by the end there was really no-one left to have a beef with and my only port of call was to be increasingly more offensive or, a personal lowpoint, to constantly announce my retirement from Twitter only to return mere hours later.”

As the conversation turned to what would happen to the famous mousehead Joel became visibly upset for the first time and allowed one solitary tear to tumble down his cheek.

“I’ve got an idea that I can auction off the head for charity,” wept Joel. “A charity that has always been close to my heart which looks after musicians without Ferraris, it’s heartbreaking really, did you know that some of these musicians work on the most primitive software and can’t even afford a high end gas guzzler, it’s sad.”

“Hopefully the heads I’ve used can offer some solace to those in desperate need of an unnecessary Italian sports car,” he added.

Before ending the Q&A Joel fielded questions on the new direction that his sound would take and claimed that he wouldn’t be retiring from dance music entirely even though he “finds it boring and repetitive compared to music made on banjos”.

“I’ll have a new musical style to indicate the end of Mau5, if I’m truly being myself then I’ll probably just go by my real name and play the music that’s always been my first love and that’s…,” at this point Joel paused to look at a piece of paper handed to him by his management, “Deep House….I’ve always loved…,” pauses to glance at the paper again, “Deep House.”

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