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September 8, 2014
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Josh Wink Loses One Eye In Ironic Accident

Josh Wink, famed for his banger and mashed classic Higher State of Consciousness has lost one eye in an incident today that has been described by certain members of the press as “poorly scripted poetic injustice”.

The incident occurred in the early hours of this morning as Mr. Wink attempted an extended mix of his classic track Higher State which is renowned for its ever ascending melody.

According to one witness, the melody rose so much that it shattered windows in the house and unfortunately as it rose to its highest pitch, it shattered winks spectacles causing glass to spill over into his cornea.

According to doctors, the pitch that the melody reached was “fucking ridiculous” with his optometrist, who himself is a keyboard player in a wedding band, confirming suspicions that it was “a completely unnecessary note to hit”.

The optometrist made the further assertion that “the track already brings you about as high as you can go,” and according to his expert medical opinion, that he and his boys were “as mashed as they could get in the 90s and remember a nauseating euphoria at the tracks peak, much like the nauseating euphoria that sets in while coming up on a roller coaster.”

“Anymore,” he said wringing his hands, “and I’d have fucking lost it… In medical terms, you understand”.

However, Josh himself is surprisingly upbeat about the whole debacle, claiming every nurse in Philadelphia Eye, Nose, Throat and Liver Hospital think he is winking at them and has already had a proposition from one where she insisted she would take him to “a higher state of consciousness”.

He now plans to try out his new glass eye on the road, but not before finishing the remix of his track.  Doctors have warned against this, claiming it could lead to him losing his glass eye if the pitch of the melody reaches the same frenzied crescendo.

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