American ego-tist, walking delusion and sometime rapper, Kanye West, has took it upon himself to defend artistry in music by making a statement against Beck through the medium of voice-modulating Auto Tune.
Auto-Tune, frequently used to correct the mistakes of weak vocalists, has been a staple of Mr. West’s musical “artistry” alongside “raps with no flow, over-the-top stage productions and publicity stunts”.
In a recent spat at the 41st Grammy Awards, West, spoke out against the decision to award the Album of the Year award to sole-songwriter Beck in favour of the multi-producer and songwriter credits laden offering from pop-queen bum-jiggler, Beyonce.
“If the Grammy’s want real artists like Beyonce, who on her album sang all the words that someone else helped write for her, to come back to their awards then they need to respect artistry,” crooned Mr. West in a vaguely futuristic lilt through an auto tune box implanted in his larynx. “We ain’t going to play with them no more, rewarding people who write introspective pop albums entirely by themselves, in favour of unchallenging pop music written by committee.”
“Beyonce was truly innovative on that album,” stated Mr. West, mimicking a robot or Stephen Hawking. “When people listened to it they were taken to another place on each cut, a place usually determined by the style of the songwriter she recruited to write the song. That’s pushing things forward. She’s so much of an artist she don’t even need to create art, Beck needs to respect that.”
“Beck, if he respects artistry should give his award to Beyonce, and use auto tune exclusively on his next record,” continued a constantly chagrined Mr. West. “Which, if he truly wants to be as innovative and game changing as me, should be a sprawling mess of an album that is only saved by constant overly confident espousals of messianic genius to the world’s media.”
In response to Mr. West, which he insists on being referred to as, Beck has since sold all of the 18 instruments that he plays, bought an auto tune box and begun work on his next album by dialing the numbers for Pharrell, Timbaland and Justin Timberlake to help write the album.
Claiming that he’s “tired of the Grammy’s committee not respecting the craft” Mr. West then ended the interview by lip syncing a flow-less rap verse over a brash EDM beat while a helicopter exploded behind him in the shape of his own face.
“I’m flawless, this is art,” he concluded before dropping a mike he wasn’t even holding and frowning for the assembled glitterati.
I think the committee should let him host the next awards show
Oh yeah, like this ever happened.
Kanye …. Kanye, is that you? Are you there? You don’t have to post Anonymously .. it’s OK, come out of the shadow!
Clearly the writer of this article has no musical sense at all and has deeper issues of frustration and anger. You use semi high articulate words (to give the sense that you are “Smart”) but overall you are just a regurgitation of any sub level music blog website out there- hating on anything possible. Auto tune is not a Problem Fixer. It is an instrument just like any Vocoder in the world. your whole article is basically copying and pasting a quote and then you make your immature remarks regarding that quote. There is a reason for this. Your capabilities of creation are slim, but you are trying. Kanye has done more for the creative world than you have- wouldn’t you agree? If you write for a music blog you should be more critical and less disrespectful.
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Dear Mr Anonymous, you my dear sir, are a total fucktard who doesnt “get the joke”. This is satire at its finest. The only person who doesn’t get it is you. Kanye has dug his own hole and he will now sleep in it. If you are offended by the flak that he receives on any level it only shows your ignorance of the music industry and your disregard for his pompous idiotic beliefs that he is “the greatest artist who ever lived”. If you had ANY idea what you were talking about here, then you would realize the fallacy in your argument. The only thing your post proves is that simple minds who doesn’t have any taste in music will continue to defend fucktards like this guy. So in that regard I say, GOOD JOB. Go buy yourself a cat sticker and place it on your forehead while singing ~ I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me ~
I am just wondering why Social satire is so far above people that autotune couldn’t reach them.