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March 28, 2016
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Karma Strikes Suicide Bomber As He Forgets To Put Clock Forward

Every passive aggressive person’s favourite force “Karma” has this morning bit back at an Afghan-based suicide bomber who had forgotten to set his clock forward by one hour.

The unnamed bomber based in the Kabuoom region of Afghanistan, had been partaking in his final training drills the day before. Having spent close to 14 hours in the sweltering Afghan heat dressed in full Arab robes and leapfrog jumping over other men in Arab robes while being filmed, a local source has reported the man arrived back to his village looking completely jaded and most certainly ready for bed.

“He looked completely bolloxed” reported the local onlooker, in perfect English.

“A lot of the younger suicide bombers these days have Wifi enabled backpacks, so the bomb automatically adjusts the clock forward for you. This can lead to some confusion for the bomber as you awake the next morning unsure if the clock has actually moved forward or not, and in some cases suicide bombers have arrived at their targets an hour early and have to grab a coffee or maybe do some grocery shopping for later before detonating themselves at the correct time.”

“But this guy was old-school. Normal battery powered clock. It’s bad enough that the wrong time blew him up, word on the street is that he missed his flight too.”

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