Man Claiming He’d Drink Anyone Under The Table Pissed After One Beer

A man has been left embarrassed in front of his friends after claiming he could drink anybody “under the table”, only to be found on the borderline of pissed after just one beer.

Twenty two year old James Martin, of East Grinstead, England, is said to have appeared “glazy eyed” to onlookers, who claim he began to slur his words after finishing his first pint of Fosters.

“This never usually happens to me,” he told us. “I think it’s because I haven’t eaten all day and I’m on antibiotics for a cold. I also didn’t have a pint of milk to line my stomach before I came out. All of those things add up don’t they? They’ve got to be the combination of reasons I’m feeling half cut as usually I could out drink any person.”

“I’m normally beer, shot, beer, shot, line, beer, shot. People ask how I manage it and look at me in amazement. I’m genuinely shocked that tonight I’m feeling the rigours of it all. Maybe I’m still drunk from last night and I’m just topping myself up?”

Wunderground spoke with James’s mate Leon, who had this to say about his antics, “He’s a fucking lightweight, pal. It get’s so boring listening to him show off about how much he can drink when, in reality, he’s a one beer wonder. Boozy after one, chatting up birds after two, fighting after three. That’s how his weekend goes every single time.”

“You wait til three a.m.,” continued a stuttering James. “I’ll be last man standing in that kebab shop at kick out, getting my donner meat and chips. I’m a proper fucking lad.”

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