Man Who Claims He’s “Too Old For This Shit” Still Gonna Do It Anyway


A thirty-eight-year-old Irishman who claims that he is “far too old” to be partying like a man fifteen years younger than him is still going to do it anyway.

Speaking at a recent house party, Alan O’Reilly claimed that he was “too old for that shit” when offered a concoction of ketamine, cocaine and MDMA, before taking the plate it was on and snorting the two biggest lines on it.

According to Mr O’Reilly, he knows he’s getting on in years but, when it comes to partying, he just can’t help himself, even when he knows he will pay for it later.

“Sometimes, I think there’s something wrong with me,” he told Wunderground yesterday. “I’ll go out with the best of intentions of having a quiet night in the boozer, maybe just seven or eight pints and a gram of charlie. You know? Fairly standard like, but once I get going I just can’t stop. I’m likely to end up in a house full of people I don’t know, paying money for drugs I don’t want.”

“And, even though I know I don’t really want to be there and I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing because I’m thirty-fucking-eight, I just can’t help myself and go ahead and do it anyway,” continued O’Reilly, who’s been on the session for approximately twenty years now. “What the fuck is that all about? I’m my own worst enemy.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t enjoy myself when I’m out tearing the arse out of it, because I do, it’s fucking deadly,” he explained honestly. “It’s going back to work on a Monday when the trouble starts. Honestly, I do be walking around the job like a fucking zombie.”

“The first two days of the week are total write-offs, Wednesday I’m feeling kinda human again and it’s only Thursday that I’m actually able to function,” he continued. “Then, it’s Friday and I’m too busy worrying about what sort of shit I’m going to get myself into at the weekend to get any work done.”

“That’s one productive day a week, at best, I don’t know how I still have a job. I’m far too fucking old for this shit.”

If you feel like your getting too old for this shit too, please take a minute to consider Keith Richards, he’s seventy-four and been on the session for fifty years, you need to up your game.

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Man Who Claims He’s “Too Old For This Shit” Still Gonna Do It Anyway

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