A man whose love-buzz has finally worn off has admitted the girl he pulled was in fact ugly and certainly not wife material.
Twenty four year old builder, Robbie Pressman, is believed to have been suffering from what is commonly known as “love-buzz” or “pill-love” after expressing far too much interest in a very unattractive girl based on the feelings prompted from his large consumption of ecstasy.
“Initially, when I saw him chatting to this girl I assumed it was general bantz, you know? Lads on tour and all that,” said Robbie’s mate, Jon Smith. “Although this bird was grim, Robbie seemed to be getting closer and closer to her, and then they crept off to the bar together. After an hour had passed without them coming back I decided to investigate, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw them kissing. He was all over her like a cheap suit. She was hideous. Like a true creature of the night. Maybe she had a great personality, I don’t know” ranted Jon.
“When I pulled him up on it the next day he told me to fuck off and mind my own business. He was being such a melt, claiming to really like her and saying she was different to any bird he had ever met. I tried explaining to silly-bollocks that he was suffering with pill-love and the buzz would eventually wear off in a day or two but he wasn’t having any of it.”
“He even told us that he thought she was ‘the one’. Can you believe it? The one” said Jon. “If Jose Mourinho was the Special One, and David Moyes was the Chosen One, this bird was definitely the Fucking Ugly One.”
Wunderground managed to ask Robbie for his views on the situation, “We met this group of birds in the club and I hit it off with a girl named Janine straight away. It felt like we had known each other for ages. We had a little kiss and agreed to go out on a date. Although I had taken a couple of pills, I was completely certain that my feelings were real and it wasn’t the drugs confusing me.”
“It has been a good few days now and I am ready to admit I behaved like a true cunt” said Robbie. “I have looked through over 500 photos of her on Instagram and to be honest, she is dreadful. Plus she didn’t have a very good personality at all. She didn’t really say anything whatsoever. She was bang on the ket and in a massive k-hole for the whole time and could barely string a sentence together. She was a proper mess – what was I thinking?”
According to sources, Robbie and Janine’s date ended prematurely after the young man “ran out” of his local Wetherspoons, while his date was in the toilet.
