Man Who Always Downloads Music Illegally “Deeply Shocked” Beatport Go Bust


A man who consistently downloaded music illegally has revealed that he is “deeply shocked” after hearing that Beatport had gone bust.

Gavin Martin, a struggling DJ, claimed he was extremely saddened and shocked after news that Beatport’s parent company SFX Entertainment has filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.

“It’s a sad day for music,” confirmed Gavin, who DJs under the name DJ Zippy because of his fondness for downloading tunes on Zippyshare. “I know how they feel, my own career has been faltering a bit lately too, I think all that business with SFX must be having a bit of a knock on effect because I haven’t had a gig in ages.”

Paul Strange, a local promoter, claims DJ Zippy is a “middle of the road” DJ with “average” mixing skills and a “half decent” ability to read a crowd.

“He played my night once,” claimed Strange, owner and promoter of Strange Days a tech house night in Luton. “He was alright, he brought about about thirty or forty people with him, which was quite good, and he can definitely mix but the daft cunt was playing tune after tune with a 128 bit rate, you can’t be doing that at my night.”

“It sounded shit, like he was pulling the tunes out of a screeching cat’s arse,” continued Strange. “He must have been ripping tracks straight off YouTube before he came to play. I asked him what he was doing and he just looked at me and said ‘coke mate and a couple of pingers’ and then played the worst sounding version of Oxia Domino I’ve ever heard.”

“Needless to say I haven’t had him back since, you can’t accept anything less than a 320 bit rate when you’re running Luton’s sixth biggest tech house night.”

According to experts, the money that would have been brought into Beatport had Mr. Martin bought his music from the site would have been enough to ensure the company’s future, leaving the DJ solely responsible for its demise.

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Man Who Always Downloads Music Illegally “Deeply Shocked” Beatport Go Bust

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