Christians Against Drugs Rethinking Their Views After Hearing Peter Was Stoned


Weed Christian Peter Stoned The Bible Oxycontin Wunderground

American anti-drug activist group Christians Against Drugs have been forced to rethink their views after it was pointed out to them that Peter was stoned in The Bible.

Group spokesperson, and certified lunatic, Marjory Joanna claimed that the group would be reviewing their stance on Marijuana at their AGM in Colorado later this month.

“We may have been a little hasty tarring pot with the same brush as some of the other drugs,” admitted Ms Joanna during a catch up with Wunderground. “Afterall, it is one of the good Lord’s plants, who’s to say he didn’t put it here for us to use whatever way we want.”

“I’d heard that Peter was stoned before but I always just presumed it meant he was stoned to death, with stones,” continued Marjory,who doesn’t believe in ghosts or aliens but does believe in a spirit who sits up in the sky and controls the world. “It never occurred to me that he was stoned from refer but now it makes perfect sense. I always thought it would have been harsh to stone Peter to death, he always seemed like such a nice guy.”

“If Peter was blazing doobie, who’s to say that all of the apostles weren’t?” she queried. “Or even big JC himself I mean he told Adam and Eve that they could eat from every tree in The Garden of Eden apart from that one apple tree and if that’s where all life on Earth came from then surely they had weed plants in there so it must be alright.”

“I bet they were all toking blunts the whole time back then,” she said presumptuously. “There was no internet or TV back so they must have done something to pass the time and everyone being a bit stoned really would explain some of the weirder stuff from The Bible.”

“Maybe I’ll even try some myself, I suffer from chronic back pain and I’ve been taking lots of these OxyContin tablets but they’re just not strong enough for me, you never know it might just help.”


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Christians Against Drugs Rethinking Their Views After Hearing Peter Was Stoned

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