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December 6, 2016
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Man Leering At Girls In Club Unaware He Looks A Tad Rapey

A middle aged man, seen “leering” at a group of girls whilst on a night out, has been described by onlookers as “completely oblivious” to how “rapey” he comes across.

Forty six year old Jeff Hayes, from London, England, was pointed out by revelers whilst attempting to “pull” girls young enough to be his daughter, referring to him as looking like a “drunken axe-murderer looking for his next victim”.

“He was creepy as fuck,” claimed twenty one year old Sophia Odegard, who was unfortunate enough to attract his attention. “He just stood about a yard away from me and stared for about an hour. It was so uncomfortable. All of the girls went to the toilet in packs of three and four, just in case he followed one of us. Maybe if he had said hello, things might have gone differently but he was just silent and wouldn’t stop staring at my tits.”

“After two hours he eventually came over to us and told me he wasn’t married, owned a Porsche and had a hot tub at his house,” continued Sophia. “I hadn’t asked him any questions whatsoever so had no idea why he was telling me things. He then told me he had a big cock, to which I told him to fuck off so he went back to intensely staring at us again. I’m not sure if he’s ever pulled before but weirding girls out isn’t the best way to go about it, certainly not if you’re twenty five years older than us, going bald and slightly overweight.”

Wunderground caught up with Jeff to find out if he had a good night and how he rates his pulling techniques, “I’ve always found if I stare directly at a woman from such a close proximity that she can feel my garlic breath on her face, she tends to want to fuck me. It works so much better if I’m far too drunk, a little bit sweaty and need some deodorant, too. Girls love that shit, don’t they?”

Nathon Woodhead

Nathon Woodhead

Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.

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