A man who placed a tab of acid between two ecstasy tablets has claimed to have invented the “ultimate club sandwich”.
Twenty-four-year-old Iver Tickle claims that he got the inspiration from the sandwich after watching a number of “food prep videos” on his Facebook news feed.
“I’ve been watching tons of videos of people making all of these weird meals and sandwiches,” Tickle told Wunderground earlier today. “I don’t know why I watch so many of them, most of them look fucking disgusting if I’m being honest but I just can’t seem to look away when they’re on.”
“After spending almost twenty minutes watching some bellend destroying mac and cheese in ten different ways I decided I could do a better job than some of the fools on the internet,” he continued. “So I started thinking of ways to make my favourite food, a club sandwich, even nicer.”
“It’s not as bloody easy as it sounds, I tried turning it into an ice cream roll, deep frying it and even putting one inside a burger but they were all fucking disgusting,” revealed Tickle, a massage therapist. “It wasn’t until I was out clubbing on Saturday night that the idea of the clubbing sandwich came to me.”
“Obviously, if you’re in a nightclub, you’re not going to be wanting anything to eat,” confirmed the twenty-four-year-old. “Apart from drugs that is, so what about making a drug sandwich, but instead of bread you use pills and instead of fillings you use acid. I knew I was onto a winner straight away.”
“I bought all of the ingredients, knocked it together in no time and scoffed the lot. It was even better than I had anticipated, it was so good I think I actually lost my mind for a few hours after eating it. I’ve had at least one every day since.”
According to experts, the new “low calorie and fat burning” club sandwich is set to take 2018 by storm and could replace the current club sandwich as the world’s most popular sandwich.
